RED TAPE

By Author Paul Hughes

“Red Tape” is a tongue-in-cheek look at the definition of ‘red tape’ and the different viewpoints of those who introduced and manage red tape and mainly the business community

RED TAPE

Red Tape is a blight on society, the portly businessman said,

Sipping his scotch at the golf club and angrily shaking his head.

It’s the government’s way of meddling in everybody’s life,

They make things so bloody complex, the waste of time and money is rife.

Unnecessary rules and procedures hinder every efficient operation,

For more than five centuries now, it’s been the scourge of every nation.

His golfing mates around the bar exchanged glances, nodding as one,

Then cited example after example, none wanting to be outdone.

But the caddy who came to join them after storing all their gear,

Stepped forward, speaking softly, but they all gave him their ear.

Originally red cloth tape was used to highlight important legislations,

As policies were developed to improve life across the many nations.

But daily life is like a game of golf. From the day golf was invented,

Players quickly created ways to ensure the rules were circumvented.

In order to ensure fairness and transparency for those who were competing,

Complex laws were then developed to stamp out blatant cheating.

From who should hit next, and how and where Trump should drop a ball,

Recording scores, what’s out of bounds, taking relief from beside a wall.

How to play a ball beside a cactus, or if it’s sitting on a live snake,

Penalties for moving sand in a bunker, and what happens to the rake.

Despite all the rules and guidance, if match committees are satisfied

that players bend or break the rules, they can be disqualified.

The caddy gave them a cheeky grin, as he looked them up and down,

You see, I’m an attorney in public admin, but many treat me like a clown.

In golf the winner receives a certificate, or puts a trophy on their shelf.

But businesses spends millions negating rules, to improve their personal wealth.

There are even ‘shonky’ business awards, despite Red Tape’s best intention,

Hidden fees, unfair contracts, illegal works – too much to even mention.

Price gouging, unfinished homes, some products even fall apart,

It costs mums and dads millions every day, the cheats never have a heart.

Some bribe, some lie. They all hate the rules they try to deny,

‘Red Tape’ just gives us admin people ways to ensure that they all comply.

The room went quiet, some coughed, some shuffled. Others looked away;

Feeling guilty and embarrassed wasn’t how they planned to end their day.

But the caddy wasn’t finished, having put them to the test,

He wanted to ensure the ‘Red Tape’ debate was forever put to rest.

One final word and I’m on my way, he looked around and said,

Government tape is actually White, it doesn’t start out Red.

I hope you’ll all forgive me, I don’t mean to sound abrupt.

The color comes from the blood we spill, stopping others from being corrupt.

© Paul Hughes